hot mama

Finally!

2007-04-15T20:40:00.000-07:00

Rita is finally, finally moving me to WordPress like she promised me she would ages ago. Except you know, I don't even know she is doing this tonight, so I will most likely log onto here in the morning and Freak The Fuck Out. Maybe I should have changed my password. Hmmm.

I will be located Right Here very soon.

-Love RPTBR
(Rita Pretending To Be Robin)

Pictures!!!!!

2007-01-21T19:17:00.000-08:00

Boys at Hard Rock last weekend

Sage, several weeks ago

Roman with his SpongeBob Cup

Roman looking sweet

New Year, New Post

2007-01-17T07:57:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm tired of seeing that same post about my grandmother everytime I come here.

Here's a brief update. All is well. Holidays were nice and quiet this year. Babies are great. Romans is 19 months and Sagey girl is 7 months. She is starting to look like her brother in the eye area. This actually means she is starting to look like me in the eye area since Roman has my eyes.

Our life is full of diapers, mushy food, lots and lots of giggles with the ocasional tantrum thrown in for good measure.

Hopefully I will get some recent photos up soon.

The other boys are great. Allen is still being homeschooled. Nelson is making A's and B's. Trey is busy being a teenager and driving us all crazy because he knows everything and we all know nothing. Cody has decided to move down this summer and STAY! He misses his little brother and sister and wants to got to high school with Allen next year.

Frank and I are doing fine as well. Frank is very busy these days. He works his butt off and always seems to pull us through the rough spots quickly which makes the rough spots not nearly as depressing as they used to be.

I still miss Rita so much but we have plans of meeting in New Orleans in April for mine and Frank's anniversary. I read yesterday that Angelina and Brad have moved there so I guess anyone who knows us can guess what we will be doing in between stipclubs and eating all the cajun food we can find!

In Memory Of Ollie

2006-10-03T20:47:00.000-07:00

My beloved grandmother died Monday morning at 2am. She and my grandfather were the first parents I ever had.

She had a stroke about 10 years ago and went from a mean ole snake to a funny silly woman. She was always fond of watching people fall down, loved all videos of men getting hit in the crotches and very much loved her grandbabies. After her stroke she still loved these things along with grabbing her son-in law's butts and farting and pooping on whoever was changing her diaper.

My grandmother loved me. I was her favorite. I am not saying that because I think that but because the whole family will tell you that. Her favoritism passed down to my son Allen. He went with her every where. Se would come and get him from my house and 3 days latter I would be begging her to please bring him home. Wherever grandma was, Allen would be right beside her. He told me as she lay there dying and we all were crying that he looked around the room. Frank was hugging me. Judy was hugging Nelson and my mom was hugging Trey. He said he then realized there was no one left to hug him anymore. That will ring in my ears for the rest of my life.

She finally gave up her fight at 2:20am Monday morning with all of her kids and most of her grandkids and great grandkids at her side. Not just at her side but with every one of our hands all of her little body when she took her last breath. We should all be that lucky.

I love you my sweet grandma and you will be missed.

Time Flies When Things Are Out Of Control

2006-09-14T21:11:00.000-07:00

I know I have not updated since Sage was born but things were much hareder than I ever dreamed they would be. I cried nonstop the first week we were home. I never dreamed taking care of two babies would be so difficult. I cannot imagine how people manage twins.

Long story short things are much easier now. Sage is 3 months and Roman is 15 months. We have finally fallen into a routine. Roman still loves his little sister and Allen is the best "nanny" anyone could ask for. They are both VERY beautiful babies. Frank and I did a really great job making those angels. To bad there want be anymore.

I miss Rita very much and Kris and I are talking more than we have in a long time. It is really nice to reconnect with her. We have more in common now than we have had in the past(marriage, stepkids, ect....) and its nice. She is one of the few connections Ihave to the world outside of this house.

Picture update coming soon. I can't help but show them off I am soo proud.

Picture Overload Part II

2006-08-08T22:07:00.000-07:00

That's one silly boy!

Ok, I repeat, I am not responsible for the wierd Ga. outfit on my son. That is the work of my sister-in-law. Sage was only like 2 weeks old in that picture but already looking up to her big bro.

He kisses her ALL day long but as of yesterday he has added grabbing her face and sqeezing leaving two scratches. The newness of baby sissy might be wearing off. This is probably due to the fact she started cooing and smiling this week getting more attention than she has in the last 7 and a half weeks. He is used to being the entertainment for the masses and will not share the spotlight easily.

picture overload

2006-08-01T12:39:00.000-07:00

Sage is 6 and a half weeks old. Here are some pics from the last 4 weeks of her and Roman. Time is flying by!

Sage at 4 weeks old

This picture is no just to show what a cute girl he woul have mad or what a mean mama I am. I stead it is meant to show how little Sage is. The bow he has in his hair is the same one she is wearing in the above picure. He still would have made a cute girl.

Those eyes kill me. Roman spends the entire time I have the camera out trying to get the camara.

This one was taken when she was about 2 weeks old. They slept like that for quite a while before I became afraid that Roman would crush her.

More pictures coming, to tired to finish the rest tonight.

Thank You & Congratulations

2006-06-23T22:16:00.000-07:00

Thanks Will and Sarah for dinner. It was yummy.

Congrats to Jennifer and Seth. I wish geat happiness. I wish I could be there!

Introducing .........

2006-06-21T00:31:00.000-07:00

Sage Olivia Grace

My complete family. No. I mean it this time....I don't care if you believe me.

My babies. Roman looks like a monster next to her.

His first reation was hugging and kissing her. Sweet, huh?

This pic is just because he is so darn cute.

First things First

2006-06-20T01:37:00.000-07:00

I know I promised pictures of baby Sage but since her big brother ate that cord thingy I have to get a disk made and it was dropped off today. These were picked up. Some pics of Roman's first bithday and our trip to the beach a couple of weeks ago.

Roman digging into his first birthday cake.

We are so cute and so is my belly.

Sage Olivia Grace Is Here!

2006-06-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

Born: 6/16/06 @ 11pm
5lb 12oz
19 1/4 inches long

She came barely 2 hours after induction. Started induction a little after 9pm and she came at 11pm on the dot. It was truly amazing. She is perfect. A head FULL of black hair. We are home now.

I did not tear and have no stitches. Feel surprisingly great! Will try and get pictures up soon.

Roman hugged and kissed her yesterday at hospital. Waiting to for his grandmother to bring him and to see how he reacts with her in "his" space.

Will give a more detailed story of birth latter.

Why can't It Be Easy

2006-06-16T03:24:00.001-07:00

I had my amnio yesterday. Our tried rather. Sage decided to back into the pocket BOTH times needle was inserted. I had gone in having terrible cramps and contractions so DR did internal exam before a third stick and I was 3 cm 80% effaced. Which is progress from Tuesday. He sent me to L&D where I was monitored for a couple of hours. I did not make any more prgress with my steady contractions so he sent me home.

I have to go back to L&D at 5pm today. I will be checked again and if I am 4 cm he is going to induce if not they are going to keep me and try to do amnio again. Hopefully inducing with positvie mature lungs.

The amnio was a nightmare. It was agood long 20 minutes of needle being lft in to try and get her out of pocket.Dr was physcally pushing her to one side. It did not work but it was very painful.

My bag is packed for the hospital tonight. I plan on not coming home until I have my daughter.

No Sleep For The Weary

2006-06-15T04:07:00.000-07:00

Well here it is almost 4am and I am up again itching and having contractions. I really thought that something would have happened by now considering I am dialated some and effaced a lot but I guess like the rest of my children it is going to have to be baby Sage's idea.

I have my amnio sheduled for noon today and we should have results back in the afternoon. I pray that her lungs are ready. I am soooo ready tohave this little girl. I am also ready to play and hold my son again. He has been so neglected of attention from me for about a weeks now because I feel so crappy. The god thing about this is the fact that he has had a chance to bond with his father. They are closer than ever. He crawls around yelling "daddy." If Frank goes up the stairs or out he door he follows behind him crying. When Frank reapears he is so happy.

I am going to try and go back to sleep soon. will be back latter on today to let you know if we are having a baby tomorrow or not.

We Are Really Going To Have A Baby

2006-06-13T09:42:00.000-07:00

Just got back from appointment and I am 75% effaced and 2 cm. Maybe I won't have to worry about that pescky amnio and and induction after all.

Last OB Appointment Today

2006-06-13T04:18:00.000-07:00

Well Thursday's amnio will tell. I hope today will be my official last OB appoinment. I am so ready to have this little girl. I am feeling good about it right now. I feel like she is ready but everyone is telling to to not get my hopes up. I have. I know I shoudn't but it is to late. I am just really ready for the itching to stop.

My thoughts now fall on birth control. We had planned on Frank getting clipped but he has decided that is not what he wants to do. This news makes his sister a little crazy. I have already made it clear that I will not be getting my tubes tied. Why would I do that again? It took so much to untie them. We DO NOT want any more children. I am going to try and make sure I remember to talk to my Dr. today to have something lined up at my post natel exam. If not I will probably be knocked up again this time next year. And that would not be a good thing for so many reason!

Roman's First Birthday

2006-06-07T19:18:00.000-07:00

Today Roman turned one. The past year has flown by. It is hard to believe that the baby above was ever the baby below

Roman has brought this family more joy than we ever could have imagined. I can't wait to watch him grow in the years to come. I love him more than I ever thought possible. He has changed my life. I live to see him smile.

Happy Birthday my sweet angel boy. I love you more thatn I could ever say!

Finally an Answer

2006-06-06T12:29:00.000-07:00

Had OB appointment today. I have been getting very little sleep again due to itching. By the time i made it to the OB today i was exhausted and frustrated. I was in tears by the time he came in the room.

Long story short. I will be 36 weeks a week from Thursday. We will be doing an amnio then and if baby's lungs are mature I will be induced the next day. that will be June 16. I pray for my sanity that her lungs are ready. Many prays this way would be GREAT!!!!!

Rita call me.

Trey is 17

2006-06-06T03:30:00.000-07:00

Can you believe that. I can't. I am a little ate getting this up seeing how his birthday was over 3 and a half hours a go but "Happy Birthday Son!" We are going to clebrate his birthday with Roman's. It is weird to have my oldest turning 17 while youngest turns 1.

I guess that m;akes next year even weider.

A year ago at this very moment I was at the hospital getting ready to be induced with Roman. I wish that is where I could be right know. I am about to itch to death. I am ready to have this child so I can stop thinking about peeling my skin off.

To Many Subjects In This Post To Title.

2006-05-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

Boy was that last post a mess. I lost count of how many times I used know when i meant to use now.

My sister seems to being doing OK. She has found a job and she seems to like it. She is going on 14 days clean. I am very proud of her.

We are still working on Sage's room. It is so cute. It is painted in light pink and lavender. Frank has to give the pink another coat then we can start moving furniture in. I have a couple of shelves and a dresser to paint. I am dreading going through the five hundred boxes of girl's clothes my sister gave me. It is going to take forever. Luckly my sister-in-law and Mother-in-law are going to help me. The thought of it overwelhms me.

I also have decided to make a quilt for her. My friend Veronica gave me an adorable bedding set but it did not have a comforter to it so I have decided to make one. It will end up hanging on the wall but it will match. I have peiced my squares togeather added the batting and the backing and basted it. I sat down the other day and realized that I have no idea how tho actually quilt. Kris is suppose to show me how. I might try to go ahead and figure out how to do it on my own. I have searched the internet for help but have to really found anything that tells me what I need to know.

I miss Rita......

It's Been So Long

2006-05-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

I know its been a while but I have alot going on.

My sister has been spending her days here the last couple of weeks because she is not trusted enough to be left at my parents house by herself. She has been crack free for 12 days. I have not gotten my hopes of to high that she is going to stay this way because you can see the sruggle behind her eyes. As I have stated before even the "normal" sister that is not addicted to crack is not east to get along with. She has so may issues that are drug related. She really believes that the world should cater to her and her every need. She believes that she is the most beautiful person in the world. She spends much time in the mirror flipping her hair around. I know it may sound mean but she drives me crazy. Everytime we go out of the house, which is mostly to the doctors, she steps out to smoke and comes back with stories of how people stop to tell her how great beautiful she is and what a nice smile she has. Frankly she looks like shit. She has been smoking crack and doing god knows what for over two years. Even Angilina Jolie would look like crap after two years of that life style.

This is not the only problem though. She carries on about her "babies." You know the ones my mom has been raising for many many years now. But I think the thing that drives me crazy the most is the fact she keeps hinting around for my mom to get her car, an apartment , and a cell phone. All of things have been given to her over and over again only to be lost to her drug habit. She has time and time againg come to my parents to clean up for a couple of weeks and them into setting her up with promises to do better only to get mixed back up in crack and her old crack friends.

Don't get me wrong I love her and want to her to get her shit togeather but I hate seeing the rollercoaster ride she keeps taking us on.

Ok in other news I am now 33 weeks pregnant. I am hoping to be deliver in 3 to 4 weeks but like Roman I am having to fight every step of the way. The midswives kicked me out last week and into the high risk practice. some thing was said about my placenta but I have no idea what it is because I can't get astraight answer out of anyone. Know I have to do some 24 hour urine test because my blood presure seems to be hight than it should be. Actually it is better know that it is normally so I don;t know what the hell is going on.

Roman's birthday is in about two weeks. I cannot believe he is going to be 1 year old. This year has gone by so fast. I would love to post a picture of him but he ate the UBS cord to my camera so I have to get another one before I can do that.

Well that all for know folks I hope to be able to write again soon. I'll do the best I can.

Until then.

And You Thought Frank Was His Father

2006-05-03T12:41:00.000-07:00

As pointed out so kindly by Pam, my child has Sponge Bob teeth. Ok, fine. I admit it. Frank is not Roman's father. But don't tell him because Sponge Bob is to big of a star to come and father his son. I need Frank around to take up the slack. Now I bet you are wondering who fathered the girl. I will keep it to myself, why should ya'll know everything.

Sorry, We're out of Milk

2006-04-27T07:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day and night that Roman was not nursed. I have been feeling things change in that area for a couple of weeks. We had pretty much gone to night nursing and only one or two times a day. That was bad a enough. Roman has been slow putting weight on so the doctor suggested at his 9 month check up that I try him on formula once a day. Needless to lay he was not hav'in it. He will drink a cup of juice a day but NO formula. I can understand because it smells terrible.

Well the day before yesterday he bit the fire out of both of my nipples. It hurt, BAD! Frank suggested that I pump for a couple of days to give them time to heal. I started pumping upon waking yesterday and then two hour after that, producing less than half an ounce. I was devastated. How long has this been going on? Is this why he bit the crap out of me? Have I been dehydrating my baby?

When I started out nursing him I committed to a year. It's been a week short of 11 months. Rita says that is great. I think not so much, I am not done.

Yesterday left me with a delimia of what in the world is my baby going to drink? I tried formula again. After he threw it across the room I called his doctor. She said that she was not happy about it but whole milk and vitamins would be fine. I was already doing the vitamins so I got the milk out. Guess what? He hates that too. For those who no nothing about breast milk it is sweet. Making everything else taste bitter I guess. I finally broke down and added a tiny drop of strawberry syrup against my better judgement and of course he loved it!

Well, last night I convinced him his pacifier was ok, instead of my boob. He actually did ok. So just like that, It's over. I am so sad. I was not done. I am going to miss nursing my little baby. Yeah, I know I have one that will be here in about 7 weeks that will be breastfeeding but it's not the same. I. Want. To. Breast. Feed. Roman. The. End.

Back Pain

2006-04-26T02:53:00.000-07:00

I have been up for hours now with some awful back pain and contractions. Once i get out of the bed it feels better. I have been doing this every couple of weeks for a while. I guess it is the whole dehydration thing. Whatever it is, it hurts. Makes me hope that I do not have back labor.

And the fact that Roman was super restless last night is not helping. I am so tired. I hope that if I stay up a little while long er I can go back to sleep. Wish me luck.

Roman 10 and a half Months

2006-04-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

Roman is now 10 and a half months and has decided to that crawling is not such a bad idea. I had pretty much decided he was never going to crawl just stand up and walk. He is growing way to fast.

Belly Gallery Updated

2006-04-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

28 weeks pregnant.

Nelson's belly at my 28 weeks pregnant.

Allen's butt at my 28 weeks pregnant.

My boys don't have any sense but you have to love them for the weirdness!

Happy Anniversary

2006-04-21T14:22:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the last five years. The good and the bad!

I Love You!

No Hope Left

2006-04-19T09:50:00.000-07:00

My sister left rehab today.

My mother refuses to go to church tonight.

MIA

2006-04-17T16:26:00.000-07:00

I know I have not been around in a couple of weeks but I have some really good reasons.

1) Frank's uncle spent a week in the ICU while here on vacation.
2) Frank's uncle died
3) Sister finally went in rehab....Thank You God!
4) We went to Louisianna for funeral
5) Stopped many many times to sight see and take pictures inclding a overnight in New Orleans.
6) Grandmother is now in hospital.

I have a million pictures I hope to get uo soon.

Ducky PJ's

2006-03-30T07:33:00.000-08:00

Roman is trying very hard to get mobile. He can scoot across floors on his butt is this postiion

Wanted to get a picture of him in these PJ's before he outgrew them because they are so darn cute. He is sitting in my $13 glider. Still makes me smile!

Patty Cake

Belly Gallery

2006-03-29T06:15:00.000-08:00

12 Weeks

16 Weeks

20 Weeks

24 WEEKS

A Little Something To Get You Through The Weekend

2006-03-24T20:45:00.000-08:00

Roman on his Daddy's lap eating broccoli. Stupid camera always leaves red or white eyes. I get tired of fixing it so I left it.

Roman loves toast with butter and cinnamon/suger. He ate all of that plus some baby food. Pig.

Roman started eating big boy food this week because he is not gaining weight. Here he is eating ham, broccoli, and lima beans and rice. I also have to supplement one feeding a day with formula which sucks but if it helps I will. Roman always looks high in pictures. Maybe I shoudn't have boiled his broccoli in bong water.

What you don't see is Ritapita and I playing with him (and reading trashy mags) at the bookstore while we waited on our movie to start. That kid is so freakin cute!

New Ticker

2006-03-24T12:17:00.000-08:00

The Truth

2006-03-22T07:22:00.000-08:00

I had to go through the quiz to get the questions to do this because I forgot what I ask. I am going to go through each one and give an explantion to each question.

1) My favorite singer is Elton John. Love Him. I have for a really long time and I don't care who laughs at me for it. Incidentally this information is covered in my profile.

2) Ok this is the question that upset my husband. Most people who know probably did say police officer because I have always said that. My first major in college was medical because I wanted to be "Quincy" See most people don't even know who that is. Including most of my friends who on the average are about 10 years younger than I am. I switched my major to history because I wanted to be a college professor and I super sucked at math and science which is apparently is a must to be a ME. Then last but not least I switched to Criminal Justice/Soc where I finally felt at home.

Now my husband said that I was still doing the History major when we met. So there is no way he would have known aboput the other. I say "Hello!" That's where listening comes in handy during the get to know you stage of a relationship.

3) Yes, I sadly lost my virginity in a graveyard. Well actually, in a Camry that was parked in the graveyard. It was my boyfriends senior prom. After two and a half years of waiting the deed took place in the back seat while I still wore a blue prom dress.

4) Queen Latifah pops up in my dreams all the time. Not all sexual but some have been Weird, right?

Only Rita knows about my Queen Latifah dreams. Well, until this quiz.

5) I love Coke. Remember March 1, Ash Wednesday. When I gave it up for Lent.

6) All of the movies listed I adore. But If Lucy Fell is my all time favorite. Can't explain why. Just is. Again, in my profile. (I'm just saying)

This was a trick question to my husband because he knows I like all of these movies. He chose Knotting Hill because I am always looking for that one to buy. We can never find it.

7) This too was covered a couple of post back. Feb. 3, to be exact. I am getting the impression that even though you may read I am not leaving a permanent mark in some of your heads'. We are gonna have to change that.

8) I am a TV/Movie watcher. I really am hooked on the three shows listed. I used to have 'Lost' on that list but they bore me now. My only complaint is, they show to many damn reruns and not enough new shows. I HATE that!

9) Out of all the names I listed Sage is my favorite. I am trying to get Frank to feel the same way about it. It is growing on him. We have pretty much decided that Olivia will be her middle name. I guess we will see. I have started calling her "What's her name" until he decides what ihe wants to name our dauhgter.

My Turn

2006-03-19T16:58:00.000-08:00

Now we will see how well every knows me. I know for a fact there is one question that only Rita know the answer to. we will see if anyone can guess the right answer. Have fun!

Frank you better get at least 8 out 9 of these right.

UPDATE:
Frank is pissed because he missed 3 out of nine. He says I never share my dreams with him and this the first he has heard of what I wanted to be when I grow up. I say he never listens to me.

He also signed under the scoreboard as "me" which makes it look like I failed my own quiz.

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

It's Like A Sickness, I can't stop Taking These Quizes

2006-03-19T06:14:00.000-08:00

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

23 weeks Pregnant

2006-03-17T06:30:00.000-08:00

I went to the OB yesterday. I was officially 23 weeks yesterday but my belly measures 25 weeks. I have no idea what that means. The midwife said that I just may have a big baby in there.After having 4 little ones I highly doubt that.

I have finally gained some weight. As of last checkup at 19 weeks I had only gained a half a pound for the whole pregnany because of morning sickness. So I was very happy to gain five punds making a grand total of 5 and a half pounds now. Yeah!!!! With Roman i had already gained like 20 punds so I was very worried. I feel better now and with the combination of big belly I REALLY feel better.

My Blood Preasure looked good which is great because of my history of non-pregnant high BP. Baby girl's heartbeat sounded great. I am showing no signs of preterm labor and only have slight itching going on. All looks good.

Next appointment is on the 16th of April. Pray that I will still be itch free. I am.

Wrong Number

2006-03-16T16:59:00.000-08:00

Ring...Ring...Ring

Me: Hello
Him: Who's this?
Me: Who's this?
Him: Gigalo
Me: Ummm...Who else could it be?
Him: Longdong
Me: Hehehe...Who else could it be?
Him: Bigdaddy
Me: Ok, really who is this?
Him: Chris
Me: Chris who?
Him: Chris Mc*****
Me: I don't know any Chris Mc*****
Him: Maybe I dialed a wrong number.
Me: Yeah, but it's been entertaining.
Him: That was pretty good, huh?
Me: Yep
Him: I'll call the right number now.
Me: OK

Click

P.S.

I went to my 6 month OB appointment today I will tell you about it tomorrow. I am to tired to do it now.

No Really, We Went Fishin'

2006-03-13T14:56:00.000-08:00

This is how all Sundays should be spent. Fishing with friends and relaxing with our kids. When we left our fishing spot there were three balloons be filled and launched and we got their in time to see them do their thing. It really was a good day. Hopefully one of many for the this summer.

RitaPita and Xavier fishing in the canal beside her house.

Hotmama and Roman. Cute hat right? Not me, him silly.

Trey fixing his fishing pole. He is sooo the teen with the long hair.

Hotdaddy and Nelson. Somehow we did not get one picture of Allen. Weird.

Hotmama and Roman again. Looking hot of course. Roman, not so much Hotmama.

Roman after he put a serious hurtin' on some ginger snaps.

RitaPita's pride and joy. Notice his new snazzy Sponge Bob Square Pants fishing pole.

Hot air balloon picture number one but actually hot air balloon nuber three in launching..

This picture taken for sister-in -law that is a major Georgia fan.

How many people does it take to fill up a hot air balloon.

You can see what a gorgeous day we had yesterday.

Ooooh....Aaaahhhh!!!!!!

2006-03-12T09:59:00.000-08:00

Gone Fishin'

Labor Pains?

2006-03-10T08:50:00.000-08:00

I was going to tell guys aboput this yesterday but had a busy day and I get really tired very fast now.

I woke up a 3am yesterday morning with terrible back pain. I drifted back to sleep and woke up again at 4:30 with back hurting even more. I came downstairs snd took a Tylenol. That did nothing for the back pain. At around 5:30 or so I realized that my belly seemed to hardening up. I was not really sure that it was contractions at this point, my uterus itself only comes up to just past my belly button because I am only 22 weeks along. I lay there awhile and realized that my back seem to hurt more everytime my belly got hard and this is definitely contrations. At 7am I call my midwife and she tells me to drink as much fluid as possible and lay down for half an hour. Well 30 minutes latter I feel much better. Contractions and back pain gone.

I did this with Roman but it was much latter in pregnancy so I am going to have to be careful and make sure I get plenty of fluids. It is WAY to soon for baby girl Carr to make her appearance.

Dana Reeves

2006-03-07T09:03:00.000-08:00

I have just learned the news that Dana Reeves has died after her fight with lung cancer. This news makes me very sad. I have, like many others, wacthed her over the years as she stood by and took care of her husband before his death. I always wondered where she found the fortitude to do what she did for so many years. I don't think many woman would do that.

Now this leads me to today. After being such a good person for so many years and she was finally given the chance to live it was all taken from her. I can never understand how one family can go through so much. I think of their son. How one boy can loose both parents so close together.

Rest in peace Dana Reeves. You left a beautiful mark on this earth.

It's All About Baby Girl Carr (and Roman and Me and God)

2006-03-06T08:16:00.000-08:00

Had a pretty good weekend. We went to the Jr. League Sale I found quite a bit of things that I was looking for. I found many baby girl items I needed. Roman came home with as much if not more than baby girl Carr. I also found a glider rocker for $13. Can you believe that. $13! I am so happy. I have 2 more attic type sales planned for the next two weekends and I am hoping to get most of the things I need for this baby girl. This is not counting the wonderful items that will be showered upon her May 13 at the shower my friend Jen is planning and all the things her grandmother and aunts will be getting for here spoiled ltiile unborn self.

Also I just wanted to say that I think miracles can happen. I have been praying for weeks that the horrible itching that usually comes along with my pregnancy would not happen this time. And as of know, it hasn't. How cool is that? I had started some mild itching the in last month but that has dissapeared in the last 5 days or so!

(Insert Angels Singing Here)

2006-03-03T09:07:00.000-08:00

It finally happened. After wrestling my baby son for over a hour trying to get him to sleep. He slept from about 11:30 (not positive on this time because I was in a benadryl daze myself) until 6:45 this morning. In his crb. Never waking. Not even for his pacifier. At one point I was convinced he had died in his sleep and nearly went into a panick until I put my hand on his chest to make sure he was breathing. At 6:45 I got him out of his crib and nursed him back to sleep until almost 9:oo this morning.

I however woke 4 times to pee.

Four, Three, Two, One

2006-03-02T04:31:00.000-08:00

Once there were Four. A happy Four. A well matched Four.

Four that were divided directly in half by ten years. Tens years did not matter though because what this Four shared were the same. The same shitty childhoods. The same search for a higher being. The same appreciation of laughter. The same sort of mistakes through life that makes a number. A real number. Number One brought laughter. Number Two brought a laid back and "whatever" attitude that was the envy of all around her. Number Three brought compassion and unconditional love. Number Four brought a motherly quality but never knew what else because it is hard to see from the inside out.

But this Four was not meant to be. One day Number One informed number Two, Three, and Four that this endeavor was not working anymore and she was moving on to greener pastures. Two, Three and Four were confused and of course turned it into the "breakup of all times" joke but tried to move on, growing closer together. Two, Three and Four had the time of their lives for a while. They laughed more than most do in a life time. They were their for each other when no one else could be. This threesome took adventures and did things that could only be enjoyed by such kindred spirits.

Then as it would happen Number Two became very unhappy with Three and Four and took her toys to play else were for a very long time. Leaving Three and Four to put up "Have you seen this missing number?" posters on trees and milk cartons.

That left Three and Four feeling devastated. It had been established at the beginning that this was a bruised and broken bunch of numbers. And the sudden departure of One and Two left Three and Four crumpled on the floor holding on to each other like mad, trying to find their happy place. They did. And at times it appeared this two would NEVER be torn apart.

But then came the time that Three would ask Four a question and demand a honest answer. Number Four who made it a practice to keep certain things to herself, especially things that could be potentially hurtful, was not comfortable with this situation but went against her better judgment and answered the way number Three ask her to. Well all seemed fine for a while but then Number Three started to pull away. Overtime the bond that held these two was so stretched it looked like the fine strands of a spider web. Almost invisible to the naked eye. It was being held together by promises and hope. Promises of always being and the hope that it would.

Three and Four still cling to each other but they both have changed. Changed from the resolve that the Four will never be again, changed from the bruises it caused when it crashed, and changed as those do when they have to many broken pieces.

One and Two still have a relationship. Three and Four still hold desperately to theirs. Two has come back around to the delight of Three and Four. At times it almost feels like it used to except for that nagging feeling reminding Three and Four how fragile such things are. Making them get out the kid glove and handle with care because they have already seen how easily broken precious things are.

Disclaimer:

Most will not understand a damn word that was just written but to those who do don't over analyze. Just the ramblings of a sleepless number trying to find meaning and direction her life.

Ash Wednesday

2006-03-01T23:26:00.000-08:00

Well from my understanding today is the first day of Lent. I have never participated in this before. But for some reason I felt a stir to give something up for God when I found out today was Ash Wednesday.

The thing I have decided to give up is Coke. The soda not the drug. Duh. I gave the other up a long time ago.

When I am not pregnant I live on Coke. I have allowed myself to have one or two a week with this pregnancy. Something I did not do with Roman. I did however allow the occasional cigarette when I was pregnant with him. What the hell I thinking. That made noe sense. NO caffine but the cigarettes, OK. Anyway I'm stupid.

Ok, anyway. I LOVE me some Coke. So I am not going to have one until the day after Easter. Or is it Easter. Ooooh, I need to check because that's like a whole day I can be having a Coke.

Allright, recap, no Coke. giving it up for Lent. Stupid because I snuck cigarettes with last pregnancy. But smarter now because I am sooooo over the smoking thing. Yeah God!!!

Let's Play The Name Game

2006-03-01T12:01:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple of names I like. Frank has already vetoed some but have been quite on the rest. This leads me to believe he does not like them. I have a favorite on this list but it is a secret.

Give me your opinion or add one to the list.

Annabel
Fiona
India
Anastasia
Sage
Lilly
Amelia
Bailey
Irland
Regan
Delaney

Belly Gallery

2006-02-27T09:42:00.000-08:00

12 Weeks

16 Weeks

20 Weeks

16 and 20 look the same to me. They don't feel the same though. I am already feeling like i did at 7 months with Roman. Top picture is from the camara that we returned can you see why now.

Reasons I Don't Sleep Anymore

2006-02-26T07:18:00.000-08:00

1) Besides being the mother of a 8 month old, he is a 8 month old that will not sleep in his crib. I spend the night nursing and trying to figure out how to cover my shoulders up without covering his head up.

2) The baby on the inside is as active at night as the one on the outside. They take turns kickng me internally and externally ALL night long. I am convinced that when Roman lays his head on my belly that he and baby sister are working out a schedule of who is keeping mama up amd when.

3) Frank has decided in the last 3 night to be a cover hog. Leaving me with the tassels on the bed spread to cover my evergrowing body with.

4) Pregnant hot flashes

5) Frank's cronic right pain shoulder has migrated to my right shoulder. So along with 1-4 makes it impossible for me to get comfortable.

6) Itching has started. It is quite mild and not really keeping me up scratching but the stress of knowing what is coming is.

7) Last but not least. The peeing. The constant peeing.

I have not had a real nights sleep in well over 15 months. I'm dying here! Need sleep. Must have sleep. Would cut of Frank's right arm (and shoulder) for a good nights sleep. Nothing that belongs to me for fear of missing the missing body part would keep me awake. Then that would defeat the purpose.

Pizza Delivery

2006-02-22T09:40:00.000-08:00

This link was emailed to me. I thought it was kinda funny. Have a little listen. It suppose to be how odering a pizza in 2010 will be like.

I'm In Love With A Stripper

2006-02-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

Ok, Frank and I started listening to a new radio station this weekend. It has a mix of R&B, Rap, Pop, and Rock. They kept playing these two striper songs over and over again that just made us laugh. I can't remember what the fist one was, something about shakin a ass. the second one was this, I'm In Love With a Stripper I told Frank that that was his song . Everytime we heard it we started to laugh and then try and figure out who would have danced to it back in the day. When i think about it, there is actually a lot of "ode to strippers" songs out there. Maybe one day I will get a list together.

If you can think of one let me know!

God Has Smiled On Us

2006-02-16T13:00:00.000-08:00

GIRL! AFTER 5 BOYS WE ARE HAVING A GIRL! A GIRL! WE ARE HAVING A GIRL!!!!!!!

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!!! (THIS WILL THE ONLY TIME MY DAUGHTER'S GIRL PARTS WILL BE ON THE INTERNET)

I THINK SHE IS GOING TO HAVE ROMAN'S MONSTER FEET. LOOK HOW CUTE HER FOOT IS!!!!!

THIS IS MY BABY GIRL'S BODY. HER BACK, HEAD, AND LITTLE LEGS

I AM SO HAPPY! I CANNOT BELIEVE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BABY GIRL HERE! SHE IS GOING TO BE SO SPOILED! I AM ALREADY DREAMING OF THE GIRLIEST ROOM EVER. I JUST FRANK AND I WILL BE ABLE TO AGREE ON THE PERFECT GIRL NAME. I NEVER EVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE PICKING OUT GIRL NAMES.

LIFE IS GOOD TODAY!!!!!!!

Basketball Star

2006-02-15T11:00:00.000-08:00

101_0111
Originally uploaded by rmamacarr.

101_0114
Originally uploaded by rmamacarr.

This is Hotmama's little basketball star. we have had so much fun watchin his games. They have not won yet but they get better every game!

I Heart Valentines

2006-02-14T12:56:00.000-08:00

I actually was not going to post. I have sat and thought it all day. Well in between trying to soothe the crying baby I have. It looks as though Valentines is going to shape up like my weekend. My husband as I am sure you can recall is not a "show your feeling" kinda of dude. Birthdays and Valentines are pretty much the same around here. Just another day except for the fact I sit around looking desperate all day hoping to get a little extra attention.

I would probably be over the idea of having a great romatic holiday if I never had one with him. But unfortunatly for him he showed me once that he indeed did know how to do valantines up right. I was treated to a evening of dinner, drinks in the top of the hotel he had gotten for the night, and very romantic things I cannot speak of in that said hotel. So I know the boy has it in him. So every year I hope and wish for the same treatment. Hope and Wish. Hope and Wish. Hope and Wish.

Well as I mentioned above this is not going to be the year of a repeated beautiful night. In his defence I have been pregnat the last two Valentines and Birthday for that matter and that makes planning a romantic dinner a little harder. Because in our world romance equals cocktails. Cocktails equals sex. As I have said many times my husband and I are great fans of drunk sex. Nothing beats drunk sex. It rocks! Also its kinda hard to plan around a crying baby. A baby that will stay with NO ONE but his mother. So as usual I guess I will be hoping and wishing. Hoping and wishing that next year is the magic year. But with one more crying baby on the way I have my doubts.

What's For Dinner:

Depending on how the night goes with our bad luck it with will either be

Homecooked Blackened Chicken Fettuccini Alfredo

OR

Restaurant cooked Japanese, that has been metioned earlier in the today, if all goes well.

I guess you can figure out which one I am pulling for.

What's For Dinner?

2006-02-13T10:40:00.000-08:00

I think I might be getting bored with this. I definantly will not be doing weekend menus. My weekends are always to unpredictable.

What's for dinner?

14 Garlic Clove Pork Roast
Fried Rosemary Potatoes
Sauteed Squash
Fresh Hawaiian Sweet Bread

I so did not get enough of the potatoes last time and i want more. And what this pregnant cook wants this pregnant cook gets.

Sometimes It Just Sucks

2006-02-13T07:48:00.000-08:00

Had A BAD fucking weekend. I want bore you with the details, because really you don't want to hear it. All I can say is, It sucked!!!!!!

Grey's Anatomy kicked ass though. I am loving that show. Invasion is one of my other favorites this season. Kinda evens out the suck in all the others.

PS: I hate being a after thought when there is nothing else to do or no one else around!

What's For Dinner?

2006-02-10T12:33:00.000-08:00

Spagetti
Garlic Bread

This simple meals turns into an event around here.

I have one son who will not eat sauce so he gets plain noodles doctored with butter and various herbs.

To make everyone happy I make the sauce and then sautee the onions, open black olives, and sautee the mushrooms and then put them all on the side so everyone can have their spagetti the way they want it and not he way I want it. I learn this helpful trick from my mother-in-law.

What's For Dinner?

2006-02-09T12:56:00.000-08:00

Seeing how I wore my ever growing body out making lunch. It was a good one though

Brocolli and Cheese soup
Chicken Salad

We are so having something easy. Along with being tired and having a headache, Nelson has a basketball game tonight.

Vegetable Lasagna- Very Frozen
Salad- Not Frozen

Hilton Head

2006-02-09T10:53:00.000-08:00

This is the story of what we did this past weekend.

My sister-in-law called Friday around noon and said “hey do ya’ll want to go to Hilton Head this weekend?” I think my answer came out in squeals of delights and a “Hell yeah!” She said good we’ll be leaving at 3pm.

*Here is the part where my heart breaks

3pm! What!

After an hour of Frank trying to arrange getting his check early and me making phone cal after phone call try making arrangements with my mom and ex-husband to do the every other weekend exchange of the kids. I started packing like mad woman. For some reason in the middle of this I decided that I needed to clean my closet out. Not just clean it out but pack up all the clothes I haven’t worn in well over two years. And probably never will again. By 3pm I was packed. All of mine, Franks, and three hundred ponds of stuff it requires to travel with a baby.

We drove up with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Stopping only to pee and by cheetos and sunflower seeds for me and a hot sausage and beef stick for sis.

We got in Hilton Head at about 8:30 and went straight to eat our first fabulous dinner. There was this little tiny restaurant called Stevie D’s. A delicious New Orleans style restaurant with writing on the wall in the place of a menu and every square inch covered by something that was New Orleansey. I ate mouth watering blackened mahi here.

From there we head to out hotel to check in a get settled for the night. This is where my sister-in-law got her butt kicked in rummy. Even thought she will never admit to it.

Next morning after two hours of taking turns getting dressed we headed for a warm breakfast at Crackbutt Barrel before we started shopping at the outlets. We shopped until about 7pm and went back to the room to change for dinner.

This is when my favorite meal of the weekend happened. I had a dinner of lobster tail, stuffed flounder, and crab cakes at the place called Steamers. We then went back to the hotel and passed out.

Next morning we took the baby down to the beach. We did not do it Saturday because it was raining and unfortunately Sunday’s trip was brief because it was about 30 degrees. I took a bunch of pictures to capture this great moment of my baby seeing the ocean for the first time.

After that we shopped some more and went to a restaurant called the Crazy Crab where I ate the most delicious she-crab soup I have ever had. It was sooooo good. So good that I have bought my own ingredients to make more because that was not enough. Then we came home, perfect weekend. I am so happy to get along with in-laws. (I think I always say that but realy it is such a big deal for a good marriage.) We always have so much fun. I can’t wait until our next trip!

Roman eating his first cracker. He is getting so big. We ate alot this weekend. Mama ate lobster tail, mahi, and stuffed flounder and all Roman got was crackers.

I'm cold but i am to cute to notice!

Daddy what's over there!

Hey mama, I love you but stop taking pictures, it's freezing!

I know, can that outfit be any brighter. Look at it this way. I won't loose him. This was the lobster tail night. See how happy Roman is that I am having a yummy dinner.

Whats For Dinner

2006-02-08T11:41:00.000-08:00

I will be trying to cook last nights menu since it fell through last minute.

Have to do a quick dinner on church night anyway. We leave very early so I do not have time to do a big dinner.

Still hoping to have some pictures up soon. I have to wait for Rita to put them up for me because of my computer or blogger or whatever. It's a pain in the butt not to be able to do it myself.

What's For Dinner?

2006-02-07T14:12:00.000-08:00

Blogger just let me post today and it is late afternoon. If it is actually up and running tommorow I will tell you about my weekend. It was very good and spontaneous. I can't tell a good story without pictures so I have to make sure blogger is not going to act crazy.

What's For Dinner:

Corn Chowder
Avacodo/Bacon/Chicken Sandwiches

I stole the sandwich from a local restaurant. Mine is not as good as the original but it is damn close.

Update:

Dinner is a no go! Frank has to work late and I still have to go to the grocery store. Looks fast food in our future. Maybe we will try it tomorrow.

What's For Dinner 3

2006-02-06T08:55:00.000-08:00

Why I did not post one "What's For Dinner" this weekend will be explained latter today. And pictures too. I still have to wait for Rita to post them for me to edit because Blogger is CRAZY and won't let me upload pictures from my computer.

Cube Steak
Homemade Mashed Potaoes and Gravy
Broccolli With Lemon Pepper

One of many Southern meals my husband craves. Only draw back is standing over a hot sove frying meat for a hour and a half. Results are always yummy and the men in my life are happy.

Tagged

2006-02-03T06:33:00.000-08:00

Rita tagged me for the 10 Most interesting Things about me thingy, here goes.........

1) I am obsessed with serial killers. Not the I want to marry one in jail obsessed but the I need to read, whatch, and discus as much as I can about serial killers obsessed.

2) When I was little I always had to lick my pillow before I went ot sleep. I still do sometimes.

3) My all time favorite song is War Pigs by Black Sabbath. My second favorite song is One by Metallica.

4) The first song I ever Stripped to was Livin' On The Edge by Aerosmith.

5) All time favorite movie is If Lucy Fell

6) I love war movies, always have. My favorite being Platoon

7) I am a huge Elton John fan. Have never had a chance to see him in concert but still hold out hope that it will happen one day.

8) Even thought I made a living taking my clothes off for many years. I MUST wear underwear. I think it is gross not to. Why? Women leak!

9) I have a terrible habit of hiding food from my children and then eating it in the middle of the night. These foods are all chocolate. Cookies, cake, candy bars, and candy (chocolate covered raisens, ect.).

10) I was a card carrying, rainbow flag waving, gay pride coming out of my ears lesbian for one year of my life. I mean proud. Told everyone in my life, including parents, I was never going back to men, lesbian.

OK, Now I tag Dottie!

What's For Dinner? 2

2006-02-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

Baked Porkchops
Rosemary Fried Potatoes
Asparagus Soup

Kristina and I made the Asparagus Soup for the first time 3 years ago on Valentines Day. It was so good and I have made it ever since. It is creamy with a little spice from the white pepper that goes in it and it comes aout a beautiful green color. The Rosemary Potatoes are a Frank creation. It is very simple but very very good all the same.

What's For Dinner?

2006-02-01T10:47:00.000-08:00

To break up the monotony I have decided to add "What's for Dinner?" Everyday whether you want to know or not I will telling you what I will be cooking for dinner. Every other weekend when we don't have the boys we eat out a lot but I will try to keep up with that to.

What's For Dinner?

Pizza Pie- Yummy pie type thing, with a crescant crust, I grew up on. The kids love it.

Feel free to tell me what your having for dinner. Recipes avalible upon request.....I have always wanted to say something like that.

Thanks For The Support

2006-02-01T10:04:00.000-08:00

I went back today and looked at the comments. Thanks to Jenn for stopping by and reading too. It does feel good to know that people are actually reading the stuff I slap up here when I get a chance. I do not always have time to reply to comments but if you comment I will try to respond as fast as I can.

Basketball Update:

Poor Nelson's team got creamed but it wan't because he did not try. he even ran I knew he would. He has requested a headband because he said sweat rolls in his eyes. I guess I will be looking for the coolest sweatband I can find for my little basketball player.

I have a terrible sore throat. Going on about 3 days now. I am willing to do anything to make the pain stop. Well except for Frank's idea to "coat" it with something magic that will make it feel better. Use your imagination. He's such a ASS! Believe it or not I did not jump all over that idea, I know crazy, right. What woman wouldn't jump at that one?

For Kris

2006-01-30T15:01:00.000-08:00

I started feeling baby kick this past Saturday the 28th of January.

11 weeks 4D sono

These two sono picts were from about 5 weeks ago but Kris fussed that I have not updated on my pregnancy. My next sono is on FEB. 16 We should find out if it is a boy or a girl.

This pic was taken by Allen last Thursday. I am in my 16th week of prgnancy.
I you can believe it, the belly has gotten bigger in the last 4 days.

sono pic done on the same day as the one above at 11 weeks.

Just Stopping By For A Minute

2006-01-30T13:38:00.000-08:00

I am still having trouble getting pictures on here. When I have these problems I usually email them to RitaPita and she does it from her computer. This too has been delayed because she has a toothache and other stuff going on. So hopefully I will get it done soon.

Thanks to my friend Kristina I am probably going to end up with more maternity clothes for this pregnancy than I have in regular clothes in my closet. That will be great for me because I will have many of cute things to choose from when i feel like a barge and good for her because these will come back to her when she is ready to use them.

Roman had a terrible ear infections lat week along with the crazzy chapped chin thing. After two trips to the pediatrician, antibiotics, and some great steroid cream he is doing much better. He has his personality back and his little face is about 95% healed now.

Nelson (who has never really been athletic) will be haveing his first basketball game tonight. I am so looking forward to it. Frank and I have bet going on if he really run or not. I say yes, he says no.

Thanks for the comments Bradley, Kris, Rita, and Dottie. Now I know I am not the only one writing and reading this.

Dusting Off The Cobwebs In My Mind

2006-01-25T11:24:00.000-08:00

I spend a lot of time alone which gives me a lot of time to thinking about everything and nothing all at once. So I have decided to let you see the things that keep my wheels turning as trivial as some may be.

- Star Jones talks way to much. Does she really think I give a shit about her opinion and that of her dingy little monkey Elizabeth Hasselback (or whatever).

- Why is it as soon as my sex drive shoots through the roof my husband starts to act like a seventy year old man. Leaving me to lie awake for hours thinking about sex as he snores. Not to mention that there is a 7 month old baby between us.

- Why did we worry about getting the perfect crib and even go as far as moving it into our room if the baby is never going to sleep in it.

- Why does the baby between us in bed insist on sleeping sideways and smacking his father in the face while kicking me in the baby belly all night. And when I try to put him in his own bed he sticks his feet straight up in the air making it impossible to cover him up. He then wakes and realizes he is not in our bed and commences to pitching a fit until I put him back in our bed where he promptly turns over and goes to sleep, no pacifier no booby.

- Trying figure how my little baby BOY screams like a girl when I try suction the snot out of his little head.

- There is nothing cute or adorable about snot bubbles.

- When I actually take the time to curl my hair and put on makeup why in the fuck does nobody bother saying anything,….Frank! Same goes for cleaning the house and making your fucking tea.

- Why can I not get enough of Brit Brit Spears, stopping to read everything I can about her in magazines, and being disgusted with myself and her all at the same time.

- Why I feel guilty because I do not post everyday. No one cares but me!

- Trying to figure out why I have had so much morning sickness when all I want to do is eat. I should be able to eat anything and everthing right now.

Fat Legs

2006-01-24T13:30:00.000-08:00

Roman

2006-01-23T10:12:00.000-08:00

Roman loves the bathtub. He actualy spent a small amount of time farting in the tub during this bath. That was a first.
If you can look past the chap chin here is my sweet baby. He is 7 months old now.

I love putting hats on this child. He is so cute in them.

Ok. Speaking of chap chin. Does anyone know how to get rid of it. We have tried everthing. All the pediatrian recommended creams and lotions. I have also tried hydrocortizone, antbiotic ointment, petroleum jelly. I even put diaper rash cream on it and nothing. It has been looking a little better the last couple of day but eating irratates it. It also looks terrible in pictres and I just can't have that. Any advice welcomed!

Just A Couple Of Things That Piss Me Off

2006-01-18T09:30:00.000-08:00

I saw this on another blog yesterday and thought it was the most awsome idea I have ever seen!

This subject has been a sore spot for me for a very long time. It is about time someone is doing something about it.

Check this out!

Also My mother law worked with the poor victim of this Freak Accident. Everyone in her office is devastated and shocked. The Ex-couple were on their way to child support recovery to settle some things for their five year old. They of course never made it and the child is without both parents to one very crazy accident. The trees in this area are very old and fall a lot. When we lived downtown in this area two tress fell throught two different houses in that year. Many people complained that something needed to be done about these trees but were ignored. Thank God no one was hurt then. I hate that two innocent people died because the city of August have not taken care of the problem that they are very much aware of.

And lastly: So much for the pics I promised but I can't get blogger to work. It is making me crazy.

Ditches, Poker, and A Camara

2006-01-15T14:07:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday and quite quiet actually. The whole weekend has been very slow. That's ok, we need one of those sometimes. I had a really good nap today while Frank played with Roman. A much needed nap.

I did almost kill my husband in the early hours of Saturday. As I mentioned in the last post he went to play poker. Friday night we had many bad storms in the area and tornadoes watches all over the our county and the one around us. I woke up at 1:30 am in a panic. I had visions of Frank laying in a ditch for some reason. I did not know at that point if he had a couple of drinks which is quite common for the poker games and i was filled worry. I lay awake until almost 3am and then called him. After I yelled at him for not being home yet he said he would be here soon. Yeah right, I thought. Well at 3:30am he came rolling in. The first words out of his mouth were, "I know you're mad but......." After that I was fine. Sometimes it's nice to have your anger over something acknowledged as being valid. He did have fun and won over a $100 bucks which was cool for him.

Well, we are fixing to start dinner and I have a whining hungry baby to get to.

Hopefully in the next couple of days I will have some picture updates for you guys. We got a new digital camera for Christmas. Well it sucked so it went back and we finally replaced it with a great one. I am so happy. I have almost two months of picture taking to catch up on. My old camera was mysteriously broken months ago so I have been waiting for my new camera so I can go picture crazy again.

Bitchfest

2006-01-13T15:54:00.000-08:00

I seem to be out of sorts. I don't think it is as much hormonal as just lonely. I have not realy had any one to talk to for a couple of weeks except Allen. And to be honest I just don't get that kid sometimes.

My husband ran off to play poker tonight. I know what you are thinking I just didn't want him to go. But actually his playing poker this week was my idea. I know he likes it and it is a outlet. We all need one of those. I think that is my problem, I don't have an outlet. If I were to choose an outloet I don't even know what it would be. I think I need to get out more. No, not like bars and all that crap. I have already said I have had my fill of those.

I think one problem is, is that we are a one car faimly. I usually only get the car when I have a doctor appointment. I do have many of those but that is not a good time out. When I think about it I don't know what I would do if I had the way and means to do anything I wanted to.

I think I am just feeling out of touch with the world. My whole life I have lived in populated areas and now their is no one out there but squirrels and deer. And as I stated in my last post, not a fan of nature so none of that does me any good.

As I write this I realize this is not the first kind of post I have written on the subject. Maybe it is more depression rather than loneliness. I have fought and been treated for depression most of my adult life. But seeing how I have spent what seems like the last two years pregnant medication has been pushed to the back burner. I thought about it before I got pregnant again but I am breastfeeding Roman and that seems more important than me feeling good. In fact I think I would feel worse if I could not breastfeed him.

I actually feel better just writing this. So maybe this is my outlet. Scary thought, huh. Scary because I only get around to doing it about once a week.

Ok, I am bored with this bitch fest. I am sure you are too. Until next time.

Deadly Oyters and Poison Ivy

2006-01-12T06:56:00.000-08:00

Did I tell you guys I got a killer case of poison ivy (oak or sumac, whatever) for Christmas. Frank took the boys out to cut fire wood the day before Christmas eve. Well come Christmas morning Nelson and Cody had a questionable rash on their faces. We decided it was most likely poison ivy. No big deal kids get poison ivy. But not me.

I do not go out into nature for a reason. There are bugs, snakes, poison ivy, sprained ankles, and many other things that are not good. i don't care what people say. Nature sucks!

Now back to my story. I woke up the day after Christmas for our anual day after Christmas shopping. I had a few bubble like welts above my left breast. Over the nect couple of days I watched the same thing pop up all over my body. My stomach, back legs, and sides. Now let me explain. As far as I can figure I came in contact with the sap when I did their laundry. And i'm a toucher. Of myself. Always have been. This has never been a problem. Until know. I had no idea when I did their laundry that they had gotten into poison ivy. As of yesterday it is finally clearing up. Yes that would be three weeks after geting it. Three Fucking weeks. Three fucking ithy weeks.

Nelson, who is alergic to everything had a really bad reation to it and was put on steroids. Me being pregnant could not do that so I had to suffer it out. I'm better know, thanks for asking. Oh, you didn't. Well i'm telling you anyway.

Now deadly oysters. We went out to eat last Friday night like we always do. We were with Frank's mom and sister which is normal to. Frank and his mother ate raw oysters with their diner. A lot of raw oysters that lead to a lot of diarhea and puking that did no start until Sunday mornimg. They both were crippled with terrible cramps and felt like crap. Both missed work for a couple of days. I am so glad he is better and back at work. I am terrible at taking care of Frank when he is sick. If you don't believe me ask him. He will tell you.

I ask Frank if this meant that we could never go back to this resteraunt. He said that would not keep him away, the rest of the food was yummy. Thank God, because this is the only place I have ever been that serves shrimp wrapped in bacon. Which might be the best food invention ever made. Someone should get a trophy or gold watch or something for that one.

Happy Birthday Allen!

2006-01-04T06:30:00.000-08:00

Today Allen turns 15!

He has gotten so tall. He also has started to give me a look that looks just like his dad. Not all the time just when he thinks something is funny. Today we will go to the DMV and get him a driver's manual. Scary thought for a kid that can't remember why he is standing at the sink with his toothpaste in hand. All I can say is "Get of the road people!"

I Love You and Happy Birthday!

(He is not happy about my choice of pics but I like it)

Sharp Tooth Strikes Again

2006-01-03T16:07:00.000-08:00

Roman is still the proud owner of one very sharp tooth. He bites everything with his very sharp tooth. He bites his toys. He bites my fingers. He bites his spoon when I am feeding him. But worst of all he bites my nipples. He did it maybe twice during the last two weeks and one of those he was asleep. No big deal I knew we would eventually go through this but in the last 24 hours I have been bitten 5 times. OMG the pain. I usually yell out when he does this but all he does is smile at me. He thinks it is funny to use his mother's sore hormonal nipples as his personal chew toy. I however am not finding much humor in it. I havebeen trying to figure out how to let him know that he cannot do this. Telling him "No!" in a very firm voice only makes him laugh even more. God help me when he gets more teeth. If he does not let up soon I am going to reach in there and pull that one very sharp tooth put with my bare hands. And everyone that comes in there after. I have plenty of pureed baby food he can live on that the rest of life. What does he really need teeth for?

Happy New Year!

2006-01-01T06:40:00.000-08:00

I don't do New Year Resolutions. But I have thought about what I wanted out of the next year.

2005 was pretty awsome. Frank and I welcomed the baby we never truly thought we would would ever had. Roman has not only made our life brighter but he has changed the entire dynamic of our house. We are all much more gentle, silly, quiet, and loving then we were pre-Roman.

Our life in general went from 90 MPH to about 25 MPH. Before Roman came along we spent much time going out and doing things we thought we wanted to do but always felt like a wasted night afterwards. Like we could have done something more fun. Something more worthwhile. Know our life wrapped around nothing but faimly. Just about everthing we do involves relatives. The idea of this would probably send most screaming into the night. But to us it is exactly what we wanted after years of drinking and staying out all night. I have actually gotten to know my in-laws and I like them!

2005 also brought me a strange loneliness that I learned to deal with. When Frank and I left the church we considered home I did not think I would ever recover. But I did. And even though I have decided that I will never find a church that I will call home, I have found my life is less crazy and unpredictable and I never have to worry if anyone is mad at me or if I said or did the right thing to fit IN. I also branched out and met new people and revistited old friendships (HI KRIS) I let slip into the cracks because I was to busy trying to keep up with other ones. I would never had made the choice to make the changes on my own. These are definetly changes that come with force of things out of your control. But they are also the changes that form our life and take us in directions we would never have went on our own.

Now on to 2006. Frank and I have a new baby coming to us this year. One that we did not plan but one that is already so welcomed. We are holding his/her's place in this family with great hope that he/she will bring great things to our life like his/her big brother Roman has done.

Frank and I have our eye on some very specific changes this year. Things that will make us not only happy but again force new turns in this road we call life.

Happy New Year all. I hope your last was as good as mine and hope the new one holds as much hope and happiness in it as mine!

Happy Birthday Ritapita

2005-12-28T11:11:00.000-08:00

Today is my very best friend in the whole wide worlds birthday. Happy birthday Ritapita!

The things that Ritapia brought into my life during her 25th year of life on this earth.

- laughter
- listening to me whine about Frank without running away
- rubbing my back and talking softly to me when I was only dialated 3cm with roman and was acting like I was at least 9cm
- still being my friend when I was pregnant and a hormonal bitch
- still being my friend when I am just a bitch
- answering the telephone EVERY single morning when I call to say, "Good Morning!"
- bringing a coupon to help pay for her own birthday dinner
- acting like I am great mom and asking me if, "Xavier did blah blah and is this normal?" and then actually listening to what i have to say and telling me thank you, I made you feel better.
- Going dancing with me at the gay bar when I was 7 months pregnant and dancing with me. That could not have been to pretty.
- taking me out ot eat on my birthday
- sitting in a ER for 7 or 8 hours to watch my 5 and a half month old while you toddler ran around and not c0mplaining.
- defending me whenever someone tries to say bad things about me and sticking to your guns when they still do
- showing me what an amazing and true friend can be if I give them a chance and always being a much better friend to me then I am to her

OK, I'm done with the mushy stuff. I love you. Happy birthday!!!!!!

Time of Death: 10:30 pm

2005-12-24T06:52:00.000-08:00

Well the gingerbread cookies were exactly as I suspected they would be, a disater! First problem, I did not have the right flour so we did not get started until 8pm or so. Once dough chilled for an hour I attempted to roll it out only to find it way to sticky. After adding an ungodly amount of flour I got it rolled out. I then had boys come in to choose which cookie cutters they wanted to use. This is where the other problem started. The dough was stuck to the wax paper and I could not peel it of without distorting a hand or a foot. I actually thought that was the point of wax paper, nothing is suppose to stick to it. Stupid wax paper. I finally got all the cookies to the pan to bake them. I felt like I was trying to do gingerbread cookie plastic surgery by reshaping thier little hands, feet, and heads. Once they finally came out of the oven they were not as bad as we thought they were going to be. You could actually recognize.

The boys had fun icing and dumping decorations all over them. I guess that is all that matters. They said they tasted really good. That seemed to be true because they made three a peice and they were gone in a blink of a eye.

MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!!!!!!!!!

lOVE,
Hotmama
Hotdaddy
Trey
Allen
Cody
Nelson
Roman
and
One in the belly (to be named latter!)

11 weeks pregnant

2005-12-22T19:15:00.000-08:00

I went ot the midwife today. i had a ultrasound. The baby was moving around and waving it's little hands and legs. It was so cute if i do say so myself. The also did the ultrasound in 4D which was really cool. it made the baby look like a more like a alien than in the normal U/S.

My blood pressure was through the roof which freaked my midwife out. I have to do this thing called the "24 hour urine test" On Monday and take it back up there tuesday morning. I sure all is fine I do have a history of high blood pressure but i have bben off the medication for a while and it was fine until today. I always have HBP in the office. They call it "White coat syndrome". Also the boys toilet overflowed and flooded my kitchen floor before I left for the midwife, so that might have something to do with it. I never had it with the other kids but as Kris reminded me I am another year older.

I know my ticker up top has a pink background but that is my positive thinking in action.

Happy

2005-12-20T06:30:00.000-08:00

I a so much happier with lay out than the other one. RitaPita worked really hard on both and she has a really good handle on the stuff I like, which is really cool in its self. I have to wander if were to design something for here if I could pin point her taste. I think I have a idea of her taste and the things that make her smile but sometimes she surprises me. For example she bought this terrible fish fabric once to cover something. I kept looking at it then her thinking "really, fish? hmmmm." Would not have guessed that one.

Just like my friend Kris. I have always liked her taste but she has always been into earth tones. Where as I am bright colored kind of girl. Now over the years I have adopted her love of green. Not bold bright green but sage and mint and subtle earth tone greens that are great. But like RitaPita she can pick some questionable things too. Like this weird checkered fabric she covered her desk chair with.

I am sure you guys will here about my decorating mistakes now. I know we all make them sometimes. Well except for our friend Will, he has perfect taste. I will take my chances. And just for the record besides making the occasional bad taste decorating mistake. They both are really huge liars. Everyone knows it. So if they do try to tell you about something terribly ugly in my house you can't believe them. Anyone can tell you they both lie a lot!

Makeover

2005-12-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

Ok this picture has nothing to do with title so I will get to that in a minute. This is another picture from the lost roll. I like this one a lot. I wish you could see the detail that is in the real photo. He is so cute looking at me. In less than a week I will be able to put pictures up daily that were taken daily. Franks mom has gotten us a great new digital for Christmas. I a very excited!

Ok so I can't make PB fudge either. It is so sad the desserts I can not make. I can pretty much cook the shit out of regular food but if the dessert is not out of a box it's a gonner. I am still planning gingerbread men, I am sure that will be a disater too but I am going to try. Allen really wants to do them.

Ok, the makeover. Rita gave Hotmama a makeover. What do ya'll think? I think I like it. She is really good at it.

Kris, I hear you want ot have a girls night. I am all for that! Just tell me when and where.

Better Late than Never

2005-12-16T05:08:00.000-08:00

Roman eating the first time

Even though he has been eating since 4 months these are the time I have gotten to show the pictures. I can thank my local film developer for that one. They lost my film for two months! Oh well, I have them now. I guess that's all that counts.

Starting tonight I am going to have all five boys at home for the next week. I have been trying to get some Christmas crafts together but I am scared they are to big to do stuff like that. We are going to make fudge and gingerbread cookies and then decorate them. A couple of boys want to blow out eggs and decorate them but we already have about a million of those.

Sharp tooth

2005-12-13T19:40:00.000-08:00

Well it finally happened. Roman cut his first tooth sunday. He has also developed a very funny growl so i have been calling him 'Sharp Tooth.'

He also developed viral conjunctivitis ( I know I misspelled that one) He has had watery crusty eyes that have earned him another name 'Crusty The Clown.'

He want know which name to answer to if I keep it up.

Pregnancy news:

I am now 10 weeks pregnant. My morning sickness is showing no sign of letting up. I am pretty much sick from the time I wake up until I go to bed at night. I have a few hours scattered through the day when i can eat. But very little so I am constantly hungry!

I am going on the 22nd for a sonogram. I can't wait to see a healthy baby jumping around in there especially after all the morning sickness. It will give me something to get me through the nausea and puking.

Happy Birthday To Me

2005-12-06T06:05:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday. I am not really expecting anything great. I have not had a great birthday in years. What's more depressing than turning 36? turning 36 with no celebration. Just like turning 35, 34, and blah blah blah.

Ok, I will stop whining now. My grandmother has been in the hospital since last Thursday. I love her so much and worry about her. She has been in a nursing home since 1996. My mother never lets a day go by without Going to see her. She washes her hair, changes her grandma diaper, paints her nails, and does her laundry. The dedication my mother has shown toward my grandmother over the last 10 years has been amazing. I can only hope my own children would care this much about me when i get old and need them. It is still up in the air about how she is doing. somethings look better but others look worse. We are kind of in a holding pattern. She is to frail to do surgery on so other options have to be used. Even the other options are almost too much for her. One procedure she needs could actually make things worse so we are just waiting it out to see what happens.

Oh, yeah I saw my black sheep sister yesterday. I don't think there is much change there but I am trying to be more patient around her. Someone I know had a sister very much like my own and lost her to a overdose. I try to remember that these days because I don't want anything to ever happen to her and me be angry with her because of her sucky choices. She spent the day yesterday at the hospital trying to pick silly fights with me. It took everything in my hormonal body to let it go but I did. I am very proud of me!

Balling The Doctor

2005-11-29T03:46:00.000-08:00

I am not only the worst speller but the worst typist. I just went back and read my last post. I always do that when i put one up that makes me nervous. I go and look to see what I said because I can't see it clearly when I am typing originally.

Anyway, I love not only all the Typo's but also the the fact that I wrote that Frank was going to ball the Dr. instead of call him. I think that's how we got in trouble to begin with.

Ya'll Won't Believe This Shit.

2005-11-27T06:38:00.000-08:00

Well I said last post that we have a lot going on. I was not ready to tell anything then and still don't know if I want to now.

As you guys know I have had a lot of stuff going on health wise. Hemorrhaging cyst, crazy cervix, and a mole that needed to come off. Well my pap came back normal, my cyst is still there but doc. said it was shrinking, and I had the mole removed a week and a half ago. And the sinus/ear infection cleared up with a round of antibiotics.

While the doctor numbed me up he ask me if I was pregnant. I of course laugh in his face. Probably louder than I should. Saying "NO!, but anything is possible." Why did I say that ? that was weird. I did not think about it again until the next when i went to eat lunch wiht Nelson at school. As I drove home I had this strong urge to take a pregnancy test. I rolled my eyes to myself and said "whatever." I decided for peice of mind I would take the test. I came home and handed baby Roman over to Allen. I went upstairs and locked the door to my bathroom. I got the test out and followed the directions. I'll be damned if there were not two lines before I could finish wiping. I, of course, burst into tears. How am I going to tell Frank about this? Roman is only 5 months old! I do pregnancy really really bad! We have 5 kids!

I packed Roman up and went straight to RitaPita's. I started crying again as soon as I saw her standing on her porch. After stitting with her for a couple of hours I went home to wait for Frank. When he got home I ask him if he loved me no matter what. He looked at me and said " Your pregnant." I burst into tears agian. We went and got two more test that came back with same results. We did not talk about it again for the rest of the night.

The next day I decided I needed to go to the Doctor because I had been very crampy the last couple of weeks. I had a ssumed it was the cyst. I went to a local ER so I could be seen immeditatly. I have zero patience. Well 8 hours latter I am told that yes I was pregnant but no it is not a viable pregnancy. It was a blighted ovum. Well now I am completely confused. What is the point of me getting knock up now if it was not going to be a viable pregnancy.

I am feeling huge guilt about being so upset after learning I was pregnant and know something is wrong. What kind of mother am I? No matter how big of a surprise or how unplannned, I would never wish harm to any of my babies.

I was told to come backin a week to confirm blighted ovum. I spent the next week praying and trying to make sence of what wasgoing on. I went back on the 23 and all they did was blood work. I was told that my bloodwork look fine and go see my OB. What!? I am so confused at this moment. I am still cramping and they are just going to send me out the door without doing another ultrasound to make sure it is not in my tube. (Tubal Reversals carry a high risk op etopic pregnancies)

I come and call Frank at work and tell him. he dicides to ball the doctor that did my reveswal. they say under NO circumstances am I to go one more day without a ultrasound. so Frank and I head back to a different ER and tell them what is going on. they take me up to do another ultrasound. I have prepared myself for the bad news and have decided that whatever God is up to I would be OK with it. I just know I would be missing Thanksgiving because I would be recovering from surgery for the etopic I knew I had.

Well the tech does the ultrasound. she clicks and mesures things. She said she can't find my left overy. I keep watching Frank's face because I am sure he will tell me something. He has seen aenough of these to know how tho read a ultrasound by now. He makes no facial expresion what so ever. the tech then flips the screen around where I can see it too. There on the screen is a little blob with a tiny little blinking dot.

You got it. I am pregnant. 7 and half weeks pregnant. Once the shock has worn off, Frank and I both are fine. Roman will be 13 months old when this one is due. Of course due to my cholestasis I will deliver early which means Roman will only be about 12 months old. Due date as of know is July 12th. This may change because I do not know when I ovulated. I put my due date in a prgnancy calculator and and it said I got pregnant on the http://fiveinchheels.blogspot.com/2005/10/just-for-record.html18th of October. If I was going to get pregnant I am glad that was the time I did. You have to read my entry from that day to understand what I am talking about.

We are not telling the boys for a while so no one spill beans for us, OK!

Happy Tanksgiving Ya'll

2005-11-24T05:25:00.000-08:00

Sorry I have been away for so long but I have had so much going on. Nothing I can talk about just yet but my family has so much to be thankful for this year. We are going to the parents to day Franks first then mine. RitaPita and her family will be going with us to Frank's mom. I hope it turns out nice. I am glad I am spending thanksgiving with her. I hope she will not be disappointed with the southern meal I know will be searved up.

Well I am off to make 2 pumpkin pies, one cheesecake, and a HUGE macaroni and cheese. Have a good one all!

Pictures of Ren Fair

2005-11-15T13:04:00.000-08:00

Me and RitaPita doing my Hotmama and Frank pose

Elizabeth, Veronica, me, and RitaPita

Veronica

RitaPita, How cute is that picture?

Worring and the Renaissance Fair

2005-11-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

Did I ever tell you internet that I am a worrier. Well, I am. I have been worring about my body falling apart. Along with my cyst (which I still have) and cervix (I still have it too) I had a questionable mole on my stomach. I finally went today and had it removed. It went just fine, almost no pain at all during the actual procedure. It is a little sore now but nothing compared to the other pain I have been in lately. I am glad to see it go. I could just kick myself right now for laying in those stupid tanning beds in the 80's. I am not sure if there is any connection with the mole and the tanning bed but I do know that mole only popped up about four years ago and it has looked like trouble ever since.

Rita, Veronica, Elizabeth, and I went to North Carolina last weekend for the Renaissance Fair. We had so much fun. I took baby Roman with us and he was an angel. Aside from crying in the car for about twenty minutes on the way up there he was very good. He hates car seats and the girls were all like he is OK he will get over it and I am like OMG pull over he is crying and it is killing me. He did eventually calm down but it was the longest twenty minutes of my life. I am going to put them in my next post.....mmmmk.

Look What I Can Do!

2005-11-11T09:17:00.000-08:00

Roman is 5 months old now. He has been trying to master the art of sitting up on his own. Here is proof that he is getting closer. Ignore my my too short shorts and the tattoo I never remember I have until a picture like this. I can't beleive how fast he is growing. He is not as bald as the picture suggest. The top hair that he lost is actually coming back in. I can't really tell what color it is yet but think it is going to be light.

Nelson's Self Portrait In Words

2005-11-02T11:17:00.000-08:00

When I was cleaning today I found a sheet of paper Nelson had written.

This is it exactly as I found it.

N arrow-minded
E xilent
L azy
S mart
O dd
N earsighted

I think I may see a little of me in his view of himself and I am not just talking about his spelling!

As Usual

2005-10-31T04:10:00.000-08:00

Things did not work out as planned. Yes, I admit that my plan was a little ambitious. And of the course the romance got lost. We spent out Roman free time buying film and a hat mittens for him. Our trip to Helen Ga. was nice though. I have pictures but it will be a while before I can get my hands on them because with all the planning I still left the house without my camera. Film but no Camera. What kind of mother does that? My sister-in-law took pictures but it will be forever before she finishes her roll and get them developed. Helen was a whole lot more touristy than I thought it would be. Nothing but little shops selling flea market merchandice. Every thing was ridiculously overpriced. I did manage to buy boiled peanuts, fudge and a yummy bottle of chardonney we found at a mountain winery.All said it was a nice day.

We spent Sunday morning recovering from the trip. The afternoon was spent trying to get the boys ready for halloween. They won't be trick-or-treating but we will be going to my mom's church for their harvest festival. We have done this for several years now and it has always been a lot of fun. Hay rides, costumes, and all the hotdags and junk you can eat.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Romance 101

2005-10-28T08:45:00.000-07:00

Frank I were suppose to have romantic night tonight. As usual it probably will not happen. I had set it up with my mom two weekends ago to watch Roman while Fank and I went to "dinner". I can't very well tell her that we really were planning on coming home and drinking a couple of glasses of my favorite wine and having loud sloppy sex without having to worry about putting my kids into counceling latter because they heard it. It is bad enough that Trey walked in on quiet married sex last weekend and then pretended that he never actually opened the door. I spent 20 minutes trying to pry out of him what he saw without actually saying "Do you know what we were doing?" Lucky for us I still had my t-shirt on and it was a quickie to put my husband to sleep. Because if it were a lets put Hotmama to sleep we would have a whole lot more "splainin" to do. He would still be in a fetal postion somewhere trying to wipe the image out of his mind.

Back to the romantic night. Its hard to talk Frank into these things. His idea of getting things going is him grabbing his crotch and saying "You want some of this?" I know ladies don't get jealous. He's all mine!

But now the day is here and my sister Kristy is coming into town with my neice. Now I just want ot go and hang out with them because I only get to see them about once a month. We also have a trip planned to go Helen Ga. tomorrow and I have to go get film. God forbid we go anywhere wiyhout film. My child would not know how to react without the paparazzi chasing him.

I guess I will figure it out. Maybe I can try to squeeze it all into one night. I have been drunk with a afterglow at Walmart before I guess i can do it again.

So the plan:

1) take baby to mama's and get boys to their dad's
2) drink wine and have loud sloppy drunk sex
3) visit with sister and neice
4) buy film and pack for day trip
5) be at mother-in-law's house by ten or eleven tonight and try to sleep before leaving at a ungodly hour to go to Helen in the morning.

Wish me Luck

Happy Birthday Tabbie

2005-10-27T22:54:00.000-07:00

This is a name some of ya'll have not heard. It's my sister. Every year from Oct. 27 to Dec. 6 are the exact same age.

Will fnish latter baby is fussing..........it's now 14 hours latter. I want to finish while it is still her brthday.

My sister has a lot of problems. She is a self admitted meth addict. My mother is raising her kids and we usually go for weeks at time without hearing from her, hoping she is not dead. The longest we ever went was a year. Finding out she was living three hours away.

Our faimly is playing tuff love with her rihgt now. For years she has floated in and out of all of our lives. She has been particularly hard on my mother, guilting her out of clothes, money, and cars on her "I promise I am going to change. Can I stay with you until I can get back on my feet." Right after Roman was born she showed up at my house looking for somewhere to stay for a couple of days. After a huge fight and a lot of terrible words she left then went and got into it with my parents who made her leave their house too. She has been even more distant since then and living even more secretive than usual. She want give any info of where she is or a phone number.

I do love her and worry about her al the time. I pray for her safty all the time. Everytime I hear on the news that body is found I always hold my breath until I hear it is not her.

I know you will not read this but I do love you sister. Happy Birthday! I hope your 35th year is the year you come back to us.

Love,
Your Big Sister

Comments and Kid Update

2005-10-25T18:11:00.000-07:00

Ok I have noticed that no one ever comments anymore. I know people vistit and read but not one ever says anything. I was os nervous about the last post and not one person said anything. I really miss Rita I know she would have said something. If anyone has any ideas on how to stir stuff up around here let me know. But wait that would require commenting.

Other Stuff:

Much like my blog not much going on in life. I spend all day catering to King Roman and schooling Allen. He is doing well. Nelson got his report card and did really good. He did make a "D" in English but that is his hardest subject and we are gonna try and pull that up. Other than that he got A's and B's. I am VERY VERY proud of him. Trey is still trying ot get his driving licence which is become a big pain in the butt not because of the test itself but the non-corporation of his school giving the correct paper work. In the state of Georgia you have to have papers showing that he is in school and they can't get their stuff togeather. My parents actually got him a car and it is just sitting waiting for him to get his permit. Hopefully soon he will have it. He also got a new job that he seems to be happy about.

SAD PATHETIC news of the day: Frank was in bed by 8:30 tonight . My hot husband is turning into a old fart. BORING!!!!!

Tye

2005-10-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

WARNING: This is a very telling post of my past. It aint pretty. I hope you still respect me after you read it. It is part of how I have become the person I am today. That I am proud of. If you comment I ask that you be kind! It has been a draft for four days so I get the get the courage to publish it.

I wanted to take a minute and explain the drawing that has been added to the right of the page. I was working dayshift at a club in 1999 when a ex of one of my partners in crime came in. He had this huge canvas type thing covered up under a tarp. I am going to try and give his name but I am afraid I will misspel it. His signature was hard to read. His name is Daryle Zerbal. Before I finish that story let me first tell you how I came to know him and his ex.

I met her in the second club that I worked in Augusta. We hit off immediately and before I knew it I was doing an eightball a day with her. There were three of us in that club that worked all night just to pay for the coke that was fronted to us as we came in the door. We preceeded to plow through drugs, alchol, men, and women. It became one big game. Barbie and I got closer and closer and before I knew it I had feeling for her that was not just a game. These feeling helped me spiral lower and lower into a world that I was no longer in control of. I had handed all of my cotrol over to her. She and I would always came to each other at the end of the day where we would find time do whatever I intoxicated bodies led us to do. I woke up on more than one occasion butt naked in her bed not remembering what had happen the night before Once I woke up in her bed with her and Daryle asleep in the living room. I had foggy flashbacks of a drunk sloppy threesome. She told me later that I spent the majority fo the time swatting away Daryle hands everytime he tried to touch me. I had only wanted to be with her and would not allow him to act out the fantasey of having two women at one time. I realized then that I wanted her and only her.

By this time, it was clear that our relationship was never going to be what I had fantasied about. She had taken to actually slapping me in the face whenever she wanted to show the people around her that I was her "Bitch." I let her do this because of my feelings and the fact that she was my main connection to the cocaine I HAD to have at this point. I had always said that I would never exchange sex for money and during Masters week of 1998 I had finally gotten to close to crossing that line. Barbie told me that she, myself, and one other girl would be doing a private show for a man in the house he had rented for the week. Once we got there we got as fucked up as we possibly could consuming as much coke, pot, and vodka before "showtime." Our danced turned into a private sex show for this man. He sat and masterbated as the three of us "performed" for him. (OK I promise not ot use "those" anymore) I never allowed him to actually touch any of us but it was way too close to breaking my golden drug rule. I went to work that night and worked the last night of Masters week. I then walked away form her and that club to try and clean myself up. I decided to do it on my own and what fun that was. After a couple of months I went back to work at a different club. I broke all ties with her and everyone else that I partied with. I spent the next three years steering clear of her. I had two relapses where I did one line each time because I thought I could and just wanted a littlt of that old feeling. One with her. Eventually I successfully broke free of her. Dayrle however would pop in every now and then to say hi and ask me out,.I turned him down for obvious reasons. I did do a private party for him later along with another dancer and room full of his friends. This too being another low in my life. Also another story for later.

Years later Barbie started working at the club that I eventually retired from. There were rumors of STDs and prostitition that swirled around her and as much as I wanted to help her I knew that it would not be possible for me to do so without getting sucked in again. I was not going to risk that. I also knew that she was a vindictive girl. I had seen her steal shoes of girls she hated and put Visine in their drinks to make them sick so they would have to go home for the night. I was very protective of myself, my property and my drinks at this time so I would not fall victim to her yet again. She was in the hospital with, what I was told, The Clap on my last day of work. I never saw her again after that.

Now back to the drawing. Daryle gave this to me about a year before I retired something he did from memory because I had not seen him for at least a year or so prior to him giving it to me. Even though it carries all kinds of bad memories with it I love it so much. I have always felt quite honored that he did it for me even with our history. He did a great jub of capturing the details of who I was at that time. The Eygptian Cross on my arm is actually a tatoo on my leg and the collar and leash captured my very latex and black period I went through. He got the droop of my nose just perfect. And now you know the story of the drawing to the right. Sorry so LONG.

OH yeah, Tye was my stage name.

Educating Allen

2005-10-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

People have been asking me how Allen's homeschooling is going. Well it seems to be going great. He was born to be homeschooled. The last couple of years when he was in regular school he called at least 3 times out of the week for me to pick him up. He always had a headache or his stomach hurt. I was beginning to think he had a tumor because his head hurt so much. When he failed the 7th grade for the second time and I went into panic mode. And when we started this whole endeavor I was terrified. But since we have started I have figured out that I think Allen has social anxiety and this is a good fit for him. Frank worries about him not having enough interaction with other kids. Well we lucked out and one of his friend from up the street is homeschooled to so they meet up every day at about 2:00 and do what ever it is that 13 and a 14 year old does.

I think the only thing that he is missing is the abuse of middleschool and I am thankful I could save him from that. Kids at that age are so hurtful. I HATED middle school. I wish I had an option maybe I would not have as many issues if I could have been saved from it. I want say it is the root of all my problems because my childhood really did a number on me but it did not help. That is for sure. But back to him....sorry......he is doing great.I think we finally made a good decision. I guess the odds were eventually in out favor.

Just For The Record

2005-10-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

After 8 months of "pelvic rest" and 4 months of hurry before the baby wakes up. I have just had some really really GOOD sex. Yeah, it's weird me telling the internet and all but it really has been that long and it really was that GOOD!

Prunes.......YUK!!!!

2005-10-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

My poor guy is super constipated. He has been taking solid foods for about three weeks now and loves it. His favorite is bannannas and sweet potaoes.....so you can imagine why this post is called "Prunes." Roman has been trying to poop since Friday and has only gotten out two golf ball sized dark poops. It so sad to watch him try to go. He grunts and turns bright red and still does nothing. I went to the store yesterday to find something to help him. I have been advised to use mineral oil, Karo syrup, and baby laxatives but I cannot bring myself to give him any of these. So I broke down and got him eight bottles of prunes instead. On the first attempted to feed it to yesterday he burst into tears after about five bites. I tried again latter last night and he ate the rest of jar. But that has been over 24 hours ago and still no poop. I am reluctant to give him anymore just yet because I think once it works I am going to have a huige mess on my hands. I am going to give him one more day and then feed him another jar with only breast milk until then. If any one has any ideas out there I will be happy to hear them I (when I say I, I mean Roman) am getting desperate.

Girly Night Update:

Rita, Veronica, and I had a really good time. We also invited Sarah and Kris but neither of them could make it. I am just going to have to say ya'll missed a good time. There was too much food, 2 bottles of cheap wine, and a very girly movie. Something that is going to have to happen again because sometimes I think we need that. Just the giggling alone was worth doing it again. Frank who was suppose to play pocker ended up staying home and became my parttime nanny. I fed the baby and then he took upstairs until he was ready for bed then I took back over until he went to sleep. Thanks Frank!!! You are a good daddy.