30 April 2005

Good Lord At The Nipples

Rita, Frank, and I went down to Disco Tech ( a local Strip club to those are not ....local?) to take my friend Shanel and invitation to my baby shower. I found out that she is not working there anymore. She is on the road featuring and then she is going to visit her mother. This makes me sad for two reasons

1) I really wanted her to be a part of my baby shower........damnit I should have called her before now.

2) I have no reason to go to the strip club. She was my last connection to any of my old naked friends that are still in the buisness.

One of my friends, who also used to strip, ask me why I put exstripper in my about me. My question is: Why woudn't I? That is who I am. Without that and all of the experiences that came with it I would not be the Robin that sits here today. I am not saying that it was all roses because that would be a huge lie. In fact most of the time it sucked. I developed a 2 year cocaine problem during this time, I drank way too much, had to much sex with people I probably would not have otherwise, and developed a boundary (or lack there of) issue that I am still working on today. But I also found out that I could support myself, I met my husband ( shutup, to those who know me. OK, One of them. The one that really counts) I got to dress up all the time and do fantasy shows I would never have done otherwise, and met some really great people in the process. All and all I would not trade those five years for anything and yes, I miss it. I still wish that I was younger because I think I would definantly go and do special appearence from time to time just to get it out my system. I would not go back full time because that lifestlye is to draining on many many levels. But even thinking about this is worthless. My experation date as a stripper was up about 5 years ago.

All the girls downtown now are about 12 years old and have 19 inch waists. As much as much I love to go and visit, it reminds me how much I have changed. Last night for example we went looking for Shanel. I stopped and ask one of the tiny young dancers if she was there. The whole time she is telling me that Shanel has moved, I am overly aware of the fact she is wearing a fishnet top, and all I can see are her nipples. When Frank, Rita, and I leave the club I ask them if indeed those were nipples that were staring at me and truying to get in my converstion. They both confirm that yes, in fact they were her nipples. Then I walk away and try to figure out why that bothered me so much. Four years ago I would never have noticed. Back then a pair of nipples were like knees. They were just there, no big deal. Now nipples are nipples. This leaves me with a problem. I do not fit into the "normal" world and know I do not fit into stripper world. Where in the hell does that leave me? I am not your average everyday PTA mom and I am not Anna Nicole Smith either. Anyone have any suggestions? I need HELP!!!!!! Where do I fit in?

27 April 2005

Rita Rocks

Just had to say how much I appreciate Rita. She came today and helped me make sense of the baby's room, now it is ready to be painted and have furniture moved into. Once that room is done I think I am going to love it.

I pulled out my grandmother's rocking chair and with a coat of paint and one of the spokes on the back fixed it is going to perfect to rock my little angel butt. I love the fact that this chair belongs to my grandmother and if she can not rock Roman in I can for her.

In a unrelated topic, I am sure that no one cares but me, Constantine got kicked off American Idol tonight !! I am so happy about this. I literally danced around the room. That is one less person standing between my boyfriend Bo Bice and him winning the title of American Idol. Strangely enough this particular topic has given Frank's sister and I something to talk about. Every week after the results show I call her or she calls me to discuss who got kicked off and how we feel about it. It is the only thing that she and I have ever really talked about, so I will take it.

26 April 2005

Roman's Early arrival

I had my doctor's appt. yesterday and all is well. We saw a very fat healthy baby boy on our sonogram. I even think that he has hair. My ob said that in 4 weeks we are going to do a amnio and if Mr. Roman's lungs are matured she is going to induce. I can't believe it. I just hope we make it four more weeks I have been having signs of premature labor and have spent hours hooked up to machines at the hospital making sure that I am not labor....so far so good. After all the complications I am so worried. I have this thing called Cholestasis of prenancy. Long story short, something is wrong with my liver, but only during pregnany. The major risk of this is the chance of still birth goes up after 36 weeks of gestation. So we have to get that little booger out as soon as possible. I can not imagine anything happening to him after coming this far. Sooooo.......... it looks like the baby will be here at the end of May and not June. Yeah!!!!!!!

23 April 2005

Allen's First Girlfriend

Boy have things changed since I was in middle school. You know 500 years ago. Allen came home the other day and said that one of his friends had him on his website. So naturally we had to see. The girl named Kristina is his girlfriend. His first girlfriend. His first girlfriend that he talks to on the phone for hours with. His first girlfried that he has already gone to the movies twice with. His first girlfriend that I had to introduce myself to because he pretended like I was not standing in the movie lobby with them. His first girlfriend that he held hands with at the movie. His first girlfried that is really cute and my heart aches for him because he is in middle school and we all know how long those relationships last!! Ok do you get the picture if not I will show it to you. Introducing Allen, his friends, and girlfriend.

Is it over Yet?

I am almost 31 weeks pregnant. We have a doctor appointment and ultrasound scheduled for Monday. I am hoping that I can pin down a firm plan for the arrival of this child. I know that he will be here early but how, I do not know. She has said something about taking my cerclage out at 34 weeks and hoping he slips out by 35. And after some very painful shots of steroids(which hurt like hell) to mature his lungs she said that as soon as they were ready she is going to take him. So it is feeling very up in the air right now and I do not like that. I can not wait to see this little guy. I want to know if he has hair and if he does what color it is. I want to know what color his eyes are. If he does have Franks chin like suspect. (you have to see his last ultrasound picture to know what I am talking about, but that is so Frank's chin) Not only do I want to see him really soon but I want o get labor over with. I am terrified!!! I know that is hard to believe from a woman that has had 3 kids already but that was 12 years ago and i never saw any of them come out. In fact I did not see a baby actually come out of a vagina until a couple of years ago and it scared the shit out of me. Now everytime I open up any pregnancy or birthing books there is the picture of the head crowning. OMG!!! I start to cry everytime I see it because my vagina is going to have to do that again. Once the head is out, it does not look so scary, its just that damn crowning picture that is freaking me out. Well anyway I hope to know exactly when my vagina is going to explode by Monday morning. I will let you know so you can find earlugs and take cover.

22 April 2005

Too Much Pressure

Rita that title goes to you! You have built this up to a level I will not be able to stand up to. So I am just going to get this first post over with.

My inner blogger is very excited to be doing this. I hope that I can write wonderful things that make people laugh, enjoy, and sometimes get really pissed off. However if I piss you off you must still be nice and not comment ugly things to me because I am pregnant and you might make me cry!

Now for a very funny Nelson story:

Seeing how my ever growing large belly is making the steps in my house look like Mt. Everest I have been making the boys give me good night kisses downstairs and then they have been tucking themselves in for a couple of weeks. Well......the other night Nelson was giving me a good night kiss and he turned to go upstairs......

I said to him "Are you gonna kiss Frank goodnight?" He then turned on his heels and fell on the phone. He stood up and said "I kissed the phone with my butt." And without missing a beat he poked his butt out at Frank and said "You want some?"