23 April 2005

Is it over Yet?

I am almost 31 weeks pregnant. We have a doctor appointment and ultrasound scheduled for Monday. I am hoping that I can pin down a firm plan for the arrival of this child. I know that he will be here early but how, I do not know. She has said something about taking my cerclage out at 34 weeks and hoping he slips out by 35. And after some very painful shots of steroids(which hurt like hell) to mature his lungs she said that as soon as they were ready she is going to take him. So it is feeling very up in the air right now and I do not like that. I can not wait to see this little guy. I want to know if he has hair and if he does what color it is. I want to know what color his eyes are. If he does have Franks chin like suspect. (you have to see his last ultrasound picture to know what I am talking about, but that is so Frank's chin) Not only do I want to see him really soon but I want o get labor over with. I am terrified!!! I know that is hard to believe from a woman that has had 3 kids already but that was 12 years ago and i never saw any of them come out. In fact I did not see a baby actually come out of a vagina until a couple of years ago and it scared the shit out of me. Now everytime I open up any pregnancy or birthing books there is the picture of the head crowning. OMG!!! I start to cry everytime I see it because my vagina is going to have to do that again. Once the head is out, it does not look so scary, its just that damn crowning picture that is freaking me out. Well anyway I hope to know exactly when my vagina is going to explode by Monday morning. I will let you know so you can find earlugs and take cover.

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