14 October 2005

My Daddy

Yes, it's sad I still call him daddy. Anyhow......He had surgery on his throat yesterday morning. there was some sort of knot that had to come out. The doctor said it came form really bad acid reflux. I did not find out about the surgery until Monday. this week has been really weird for me emotionally. My father and I are not very close. In fact he never talks to me when I am around, which is a lot. When I call the house and he answers the phone I just ask for my mom and that's it. No hi, I love you, kiss my ass, or bite me. Is mama there? Yeah....silence. Mama gets on the phone, done.

I know I broke his heart when I was a teenager because I left home in 11th grade. I don't think he has ever gotten over it. He does not hug me or tell me he loves me unless prompted to do so. It would be easy to think he is like this with everyone but he actually talks to my little sister. The one that lived at home while she went college and actually finished. She proceeded to get a real job...that she hates...for Department of Social Services. She never ran off in high school, got pregnant, got married, had three kids. got divorced, stripped for a living, did coke and everyother drug she could get her hands on, slept around, became a lesbian (OH, I didn't tell you about that.....Well I not going to right now either) went "staight" again, and finally settled down. I just don't know what it is about me that makes him uncomfortable.

Well any case he is doing fine. The lump was sent ot pathology but seem to look fine by doctor. So we will, like everything else in life, wait and see.

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